By Becky Krinsky, Life Coach, Author, and Speaker
Conference for women on March 11, “La Mujer que no se Rinde”
We live in an era where we have never had so many contacts and, at the same time, so few authentic connections. Social media has led us to believe that closeness is measured in messages, likes, or shared stories. Yet true friendship is not built on digital presences; it’s built on being there emotionally.
It’s not so common to have a good friend these days, not because we don’t want to, but because not everyone is willing to stand behind what a true friendship demands.
A friend is not someone who’s always available or always agrees with you. A good friend accompanies without being invasive, listens without competing, and stays even with no benefit to them.
Today we call relationships based on convenience, proximity, or superficial affinity “friendship”—coworkers, neighbors, people with common interests. There’s nothing wrong with that, but it’s not the same. Deep friendship is not born of chance or convenience. It is chosen and nurtured.
Social media has distorted the concept of emotional connection. It has normalized relationships with no depth, affective commitment, or emotional responsibility—relationships where you stay as long as everything flows smoothly and disappear when something becomes uncomfortable. You observe, you comment, and you judge, but you rarely truly support.
An authentic friendship is neither a romantic love relationship nor a family bond. It’s not sustained by obligation, desire, or blood. It’s sustained by emotional loyalty, respect, and the conscious decision to walk alongside another without possessing or using them.
A good friend is not perfect. They make mistakes, fail, and hurt. The difference is that they don’t run away from their mistakes. They acknowledge, repair, and cherish what they’ve built.
It’s why true friendships are scarce. They involve boundaries, honesty, and a silent renunciation—not using the other person as a mirror for our own ego.
If you have a good friend, you’re lucky, not because you’ll never be lonely but because you know there is someone who won’t betray you when life becomes uncomfortable, dark, or uncertain. A true friend doesn’t fill voids or replace what’s missing. They simply accompany us. And in that companionship, they remind us we’re still human.
Personal Affirmation
I value friendship and cherish it as something precious; I cultivate it with time, presence, and consistency. I choose relationships where loyalty is demonstrated through actions. I don’t call something a friendship if it forces me to keep quiet or betray myself. I maintain relationships that offer support without being intrusive and that endure without being exploitative.
Ingredient of the week: Emotional Loyalty
Emotional loyalty isn’t about always being there or saying yes to everything.
● It’s not betraying the other person to look good.
● It’s not using their story as social currency.
● It’s not disappearing when the relationship is no longer convenient.
Being loyal doesn’t mean justifying, covering up, or carrying burdens that aren’t yours. It means nurturing the bond even when there’s distance, speaking directly and not behind someone’s back, and upholding the other person’s dignity even when they’re not present.
Loyalty is silent. It’s not publicized, it’s not boasted about, and it doesn’t need witnesses. That’s why it’s so rare today.
Practical Application
Before calling a relationship a friendship, ask yourself:
● Can I tell the truth without fear of being punished?
● Does this person protect what I confide in them?
● Do they remain present even when there’s no benefit for them?
Also, ask yourself, honestly:
● Do I speak about the other person with the same respect when they’re not around?
● Am I loyal to their story, or only when it suits me?
Quote: “Friendship isn’t found; it’s practiced.”
